1. Do you roll over in the morning and peel one eyelid open only to see a wide eyed child staring back at you at 6:45 am? He or she might be complaining of boredom, hunger, or that her dinosaur fell off her bed.
2. Do you take your kids to the playground and dream of sitting on the bench with all the other parents not paying attention? Hoping to give your kids a chance to play on their own, but instead they insist that you order imaginary ice cream from them 1,235 times in one hour?
3. Do you go to the bathroom and before you are able to lock the door (if you even get that far) hear tiny voices calling your name as if the house is ablaze?
4. Does your child say “watch this” 800 times before noon?
5. Does your child demand that YOU and YOU alone read her bedtime stories, brush her teeth, help her to bed, get her water, pull over her covers, and shut the door despite having another parent to help do these things?
If you have answered yes to at least two of these questions, I fear you may be the parents of HELICOPTER KIDS.
Helicopter kids are resistant to your wishes of being left alone for 15 minutes so that you may maintain sanity. Helicopter kids may often block your ability to have thoughts that are completely your own. It is unclear whether helicopter kids are found mostly in scenarios where a parent is home all day. If you suspect you may be suffering from helicopter kids, sorry ’bout that.
Unfortunately, there is no known cure for these type of children… unless you aim to slowly chip away at their personalities and/or crush their inner spirit during the early formative years. In an attempt to curb this epidemic, know-it-all parents are taking to social media shaming in which they post and like countless articles pertaining to helicopter children and how they are single-handedly ruining society and mankind in general.
This public service announcement aims to bring awareness to some of us who could be mistaken for helicopter parents. We are lost in the struggle, fighting the silent battle everyday with children who won’t leave us the f**k alone for two seconds.