My husband and I engage in several silent battles.
Not to worry. We have vocal ones, too.
But this one- THIS ONE is one that we’ve been dancing around since 2004. I’ve referenced it before, but it bares repeating because it’s a battle that doesn’t have a winner. It just IS. It will always just BE. Hashgtag MARRIAGE.
This is a rant about the longevity of bar soap. Yep.
It is my opinion that (most) intelligent users of bar soap clearly understand that every bar has a turning point at which it changes from ‘usable’ to ‘needs to be replaced’ (aka THROWN AWAY). It is not an exact science, but generally one can judge with the naked eye when the bar of soap becomes too small to manage. Glaring clues are (but not limited to) the bar slipping through your fingers every few seconds. Not being able to unstick the bar of soap from the soap dish without digging your nails into it. Losing or almost losing the soap as it makes its decent down the drain… you know, after you’ve dropped it (reference glaring clue #1). I mean, I SUPPOSE it’s a judgement call or whatever- a call that I can easily make just by looking because I have a brain, but this post isn’t about me. It’s about my husband who we shall call “Scarecrow”. Scarecrow, who might have twice the body circumference that I do, insists on neglecting the bar soap rules, resulting in total abuse of common sense mixed with borderline cruelty as he shares said bar of soap with one female (me).
This is how I found our soap this morning.
This would indicate that at some point within the last 48 hours, this bar of soap went through “the change”. Since I did not shower yesterday (SAHM remember), that would place the soap in the presence of Scarecrow at the time of “change” as he is able to shower on a daily basis. The rules of the bar soap here have clearly been abused. The questions I’m left asking myself as I dig my nails into the remaining scrap of soap are 1) Is he cheap? 2) Is he just lazy? 3) Could he possibly be blind? 4) Is he devoid of human understanding ? 5) Is he roaming through life in an absent minded fog every day of his life? I have a friend whose husband takes his remaining sliver of soap and adheres it to the new bar. That is obviously a cut and dry case of frugality. Scarecrow, unfortunately, doesn’t it make it that simple.
I may never know. Like I said, this is a silent battle. My only response will be:
And that’s today’s lesson in passive aggressiveness. Thanks for reading.