I am not proud of myself for what I have done.
In a flash of weakness and exhaustive desperation, I did something I promised myself I would never do.
I failed my kids. I failed myself. And most importantly I failed all of humanity by supporting a franchise I am emphatically against in every way. I’ll never be able to forgive the Polar Vortex for our icy imprisonment and the thick mind-altering fog it spewed onto my kids and parenting choices. I can only hope that my scars will heal with time… but for now I must endure the pain and consequence of a decision made under total duress.
I promised a Thomas the Train themed birthday party to my 4 year old kid.
We even looked up cakes and shit.
OH MY GOD. WHAT HAVE I DONE?! I can never go back. I must press on and pretend that all things Island of Sodor bring me great pleasure and joy. I will be forced to muster up fake smiles as we discuss shunting cars, wonky whistles, and steamies vs. diesels. Being utterly creeped out in the process- not an option. After all, W.W.S.T.H.D?
Let it be known, I have never denied my kids Thomas and Friends. We have it on Netflix speed dial, and my 1 1/2 year old knows more Thomas characters than people in her own family- but I HAVE tried to keep it far away from my daily life as possible (toys, clothes, other paraphernalia). Why? I don’t know. Because IT’S CREEPY AS HELL? I would imagine I have the same distaste for Thomas as some people have for Caillou? (although I’ve never watched that show, but I’ve heard things). Bottom line: Thomas and Freddy Cruger are friends. I KNOW IT.
Time is on my side for the moment. I have at least 4-5 months before I must walk the aisle of shame at Party City and give a silent nod of respect to the other sad moms who once had hopes of a better party theme.
Curse you Polar Vortex. Curse you.