It’s been a stressful couple of weeks for my family.
In a moment of weakness, I accepted an invitation to a yoga class. I say weakness, but was secretly looking for something. The universe decided to hand me yoga.
I’ve never taken yoga. I know nothing about yoga, but my sister does and she convinced me to try it, but not without a lot of prep and warnings first:
I’m not flexible nor in shape. It’s been years since I was inside a gym let alone a small room full of people with their faces in my butt. But you know what? The one thing I was most concerned about (warning: first world problem) was my feet. It’s been ages since I had a pedicure (the horror!) coupled with the simple fact that I HATE FEET. No, like I HATE THEM, ok. Mine included. It’s a problem. Some people have fetishes and then some people have what I have- the psychotic opposite. Non-fetish? My husband says it’s not normal? Anyway. I do not have a sixth toe or any weirdness going on, so the anxiety is completely unjustified. The thought alone of being barefoot next to people who are eye level with my feet is just REALLY unsettling to me.
I pushed through.
My sister picked me up at 5:30 am and welcomed me with two packs of orange tic tacs. She gets me. The twisted knot of anxiety that permanently lives within my gut was slightly loosening.
The class got started, and I quickly forgot about my feet. It was dark, hooray! Now I’m just focusing on the fact that I don’t know ANYTHING and in the front row. But again, I pushed through and actually began to somewhat enjoy myself. Relaxation, zen, calmness, inner peace, all that stuff. At one point, we rolled onto our backs with our feet flexed toward the ceiling, and before I realized what was happening…
You know when that Gestapo agent’s face melts off at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark? That was me, because she both touched AND massaged them. MASSAGED!! “She” of course being the extremely nice instructor who had no idea that a psychopath had just joined her class.
The point is. I did it.
I looked fear in the FACE. Then I punched it!
Then I ate an entire pack of orange tic tacs for breakfast.
Tomorrow may be a different story, but if all you have to conquer today is someone touching your feet when you’d rather be lying on a bed of broken glass, I’d say you are pretty lucky.